This song is a mess...

As I write this I am listening to the first pre master mixes of my album. It's been a year now since I started working on it and I had no idea of all the work that was ahead of me. Which is a good thing.
Nightmares, pain, psycho genealogy, relationships, and desires, they all worked together to help me write all these songs.
Today I spent all day in the studio, with my friend and Sound Engineer,  and came home with most of the songs mixed for a closer look. I couldn't be happier, there's still a world of work ahead but we definitely are in the right direction, and most of all, the freedom of making an album by yourself, is like no other feeling.
Most of the songs are written from a very intimate perspective and it will be almost like standing naked in the street, without all the penis of course. There is a song I wrote for my brother, band mate and friend who passed away in 2007 and I wasn't able to finish it because I did not have a decent acoustic guitar, but I bought one in L.A. last week and I was able to finish it. Listening to it today, gave me the chills.
I can't wait to play the tracks to my band mates in EALE and my close friends, and see what their reactions are, to complete my work, but I cannot do so. That's alright.
I'm too excited to go to bed and yet too tired to keep writing.
Anyfuckingway.

Soon we will all be dancing to a heretic waltz.

Looking at the glass half full (or how I learned to deal with akwardness).

After a few days here in California I realized how much things have changed these late years and how much I have changed myself. It has been hard to re-connect with a part of the family, since I need somehow to find a way to struggle with the image they have made of me in their minds, from other people's words, or their own ideas, so it feels like I have to struggle everyday to let them know just a little bit of who I really am, or who I am not. And I made a choice not to, just because, I do not let it bother me anymore, as it did in the past.
I know myself, I know where I am going, and I like it. That should be enough, and it is.
I made peace with that feeling of being misunderstood, underestimated, and sometimes even look down on.
I went to Vegas for the third time now and it helped me realize how we should enjoy life regardless of any circumstance, even this terrible back pain that has brought me so much suffering, which I will refer to some other day. Still, I tried to look at the glass half full, and appreciate things and moments as they occur.

I do not know how life will be from now on, but I know it has to get better, for I have been learning, healing, facing, cleansing and completing. I have two beautiful new nephews, I can walk again, I am working in my solo album, I still have my band, I have very few but great friends, I have plans and I have the best mother I could ever ask for. So, what if everything else is broken?

TO ENJOY VACATION DO AS FOLLOW:

1.leave problems at home.
2. miss but do not suffer.
3. no anxiety.
4.no regrets.
5. don't show your Achilles heel to strangers.
6. do not feel like a misfit.
7. pretend to like everyone you meet.
8. wear a smile to every picture because you need to show them back home.
9. find a summer love.

Results so far:
1.failed
2.draw.
3.failed.
4.failed.
5.failed.
6.failed.
7.failed.
8.failed.
9.failed.

press enter to see details, press ESC to fall asleep

Listening to: Sufjan Stevens_I want to be well